


his dream is you

by douxfairie



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Haikyuu - Freeform, Happy Ending, Inferiority Complex, M/M, Song Inspired, Tags, Therapy, confession at the end, im bad at, injuries, iwaoi - Freeform, less focusing on the romance, oikawa cries a lot, oikawa fr couldnt walk ok, therapy au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:00:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,183
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26462311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/douxfairie/pseuds/douxfairie
Summary: a fic in which oikawa tooru is fighting a losing battle but therapist/friend iwaizumi hajime is there to help him stand back up (literally)
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Kudos: 15





	his dream is you

The room was small, plain white walls dull and lacking of any color or decoration. Furniture consisting of a single desk and two chairs, and one plant by the door. It was a fake plant. There wasn’t even any paintings to boost the surrounding atmosphere.

“What brings you here?”

A question that rang out for miles. Oikawa didn’t want to be here. There was nothing wrong with him, so why was he here? He decided to answer with a shrug.

“If you don’t want help, I can’t help you.”

His voice was cold, but patient. His tone made the brunet want to answer every question asked. He let a sigh escape his lips. Was he really about to tell a random guy what was on his mind? And what if he annoyed him? Annoying the therapist would be a new milestone for Tooru Oikawa, that’s for sure. “My parents wanted me to come here, I don’t think I need to be here.”

Looking down at his lap, Oikawa rubbed his thumb along the fabric of his jeans, fidgeting ever so slightly.

“I see.” The man replied. “My name is Iwaizumi Hajime. Even if you were pressured to be here, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

A smile, sardonic, but a smile nonetheless creeped onto Oikawa’s face before letting out a strained chuckle. Nothing more was said, until Iwaizumi cleared his throat. Honestly, it made Oikawa jump and look at him, which caused the raven haired male to bark with laughter. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you.”

A pout, something that naturally came to him nowadays, was plastered on his face. Looking at his therapist as if to say, ‘you’re so mean for laughing.’ And it seemed he got the message.

“Anyways, you didn’t have to come. You’re an adult and you had every right to refuse coming here if you didn’t want to. Is there something you thought you were looking for?” Iwaizumi picked up the conversation again, if it even were a conversation.

Was he looking for something? Yes. He wanted to play volleyball again, he wanted to do better than he was doing. He didn’t have time to be injured.

“Oikawa?” His voice brought him out of his thoughts. “You can talk safely here, I won’t disclose any of what you say to anybody.”

All of a sudden, he struggled to breathe. “Talk.. about what?”

“Anything.”

Anything?

“You look athletically built, but you were limping a bit when you were walking in. Did you play a sport?” Iwaizumi explained, ever so observant.

The mention of his injury was indeed a trigger. He would have cried, but no way was he going to cry in front of him. He sat stiff and nodded. “Volleyball.” He answered. “It was.. a big part of my life, it was my dream to go nationals but I often overworked myself and injured my knees. Even my wrist.” He scoffed.

“Why did you overwork yourself like that?” He asked.

“I wanted to be better.” The answer was as simple as that, so he didn’t say more.

Iwaizumi leaned into his desk, writing several things down. “You know, when you first reached out to me, I knew exactly who you were. You were pretty famous when we were in high school. Known as the setter who’s able to bring 100% out of any team, a killer serve, and a ladies’ man.”

Hearing himself be praised was embarrassing, he covered his face with both his hands. “Don’t say that stuff to me..”

The other male couldn’t help but laugh at his sudden shyness. That was cute. “You’re shy.”

His face was still red from the compliments, but he managed to pull his hands away to look at Iwaizumi. “I didn’t expect you to say all that! Of course I’m shy.”

Thinking back, he wanted to leave a bigger mark on the world while he was in high school. He was never able to beat Shiratorizawa with his beloved teammates, he’s fallen behind and everyone’s surpassed him in their training. It wasn’t fair. He practiced harder than everyone, but he was met with disappointment.

“I wasn’t all that good, there’s other people who’ve accomplished more than me.” Oikawa smiled bitterly. He didn’t want to admit this.

Iwaizumi hummed, writing something down. “But what have you accomplished?”

The brunet furrowed his brows. “I got an award..” His eyes drifted to that fake plant he caught a glimpse of earlier. He looked back at the other male, who still hadn’t begun to speak. Was he waiting for more? Had he even accomplished anything else? Just one best setter award in middle school was nothing to him.

“Instead of focusing on your flaws or what you haven’t accomplished, focus on what you _have_ accomplished. You worked hard, and you received that award because of that hard work. It just so happens you injured yourself, but you have to learn to accept that. Take rests and work your way back up. When you heal, your volleyball career will continue, if you want it to, that is.”

His words went in one ear and out the other. He grew frustrated that he let his head hang down, and dragged his palm down his face. “No, you don’t understand!” He jerked up, tears brimming his eyes. “I wasn’t working hard enough! I pushed myself to that point to beat them, because I feel so inferior!” He roared, standing up.

This was a mistake. Nobody was going to understand.

He bolted out the door and slammed it shut, leaving a dazed Iwaizumi.

* * *

It’s been a few days since that appointment. Oikawa had to admit, he was embarrassed of hid actions of storming out like that, only after they occurred. But he wasn’t going to see him again, so there was no use in worrying about it now.

He picked up a few packs of milk bread, his favorite snack, and tossed it into the shopping basket he was holding. The basket consisted of protein and energy drinks, and those bags of milk breads. Turning on his heel, he began to walk down the aisle, only to trip over a crack in the floor and land on his knees.

The pain was unbearable, but only a squeak was heard from the male as he balled his fists against the floor. His shopping items were spilled all over, but he couldn’t worry about that now. At times like this, he wished he wasn’t as stubborn as he was and had gone to physical therapy or at least stopped practicing. He still pushed himself to his very limit, even with his injuries.

“Oikawa?” A familiar voice caused his head to perk up, but he immediately felt embarrassed at the tears prickling down his face.

“Ah.. Mr., Iwa.. Iwa Chan?” He peeped out, shaking his head in disbelief that he was crying in a convenience store and his ex therapist was watching him.

Strong hands wrapped around his biceps and slowly lifted him off the ground. God knows he couldn’t do this on his own, so he was secretly grateful for this. “You should be careful around here, it’s a little cheap there’s bound to be more cracks like that.” Iwaizumi crouched down and grabbed the shopping basket and the various consumables surrounding them on the floor, filling it back up.

Looking into the basket before handing it over to the taller male, the corners of Iwaizumi’s mouth turned down. “Are you eating properly?”

Oikawa squinted his eyes, looking anywhere but the male hoping that if he did not look at him, he could hide the faint blush on his cheeks. It was just a question, but also, what the fuck was he doing here? He’s never seen him here before.

Waving his hand to dismiss the question, the brunet pointed at the other. “I’ve never seen you here before, what are you doing here?”

“I’m not allowed to shop?” Iwaizumi countered, causing Oikawa to shut his mouth about it for now. “I just helped you stand and collected your things, and you won’t even say thanks?”

The taller male placed his hands on his hips with a pout. “Thanks.”

Iwaizumi looked pleased.

The two stood there for an awkward moment, until Oikawa tried to walk by the other but he was stopped, instead walking into his forearm. “I want to make sure you’re okay. The way you left the session a few days ago made me worried. You obviously don’t have to come back but you can still talk to me as a friend instead of a therapist.”

“My, my.. are you trying to get my number now, Iwa Chan?” Oikawa dusted off Iwaizumi’s shoulder, picking off some lint from the fabric of his shirt. “You heard my emotional outburst once and you’re already infatuated.”

Iwaizumi looked at him with a deadpan expression, which quickly turned into anger. “You stupid shit, I’m not flirting with you!”

The sudden burst of anger caused Oikawa to flinch, but that was easily hidden with his playful expression. “Well, I’m not interested to talk about my feelings with you. So, flirt with me.” He demanded, acting like he even had the right to demand something like that.

“I don’t want to help you that badly.” He turned around, leaving the aisle and leaving the injured male alone.

The two of them knew one thing. They were two entirely different people in that therapy room.

* * *

Juggling work, university, and volleyball was definitely a chore for Oikawa. He didn’t want to give up playing volleyball just because his knees were a little weak. Underestimating his injuries was his entire problem. The struggle to get better, followed by his inferiority complex to his junior and Ushiwaka, played a hand in his injuries mentally as well. He didn’t want his volleyball career to be over.

That was exactly why he was in the gym of his old high school on a weekend. Aoba Johsai. A powerhouse.

He breathed in the familiar scent of sweat and body odor. It smelled bad. It smelled like paradise.

Ball in his hands, he stood adjacent to the other side the court. He threw the ball up, and he ran. It hurt. Fuck, did it hurt. But he was having so much fun. He jumped, and mid air, gave the ball a hard spike. A perfect spike serve, however it would be if it wasn’t out. “Tch.” He judged himself harshly and landed, the pain from landing hard on his legs causing him to fall on his behind.

Due to the pain and the overwhelming feeling that he was sure he would never play competitively again, he burst into tears. How could this happen to him? This was his dream, his drive. Without volleyball, what was he to do?

Nobody else was present in the gym as it was the weekend, so he let out the loudest cry he’d ever cried, smacking the hardwood floors with great force that it was sure to bruise his hands. His hands were stinging, so he balled his fists and used his knuckles to punch the floor instead. His tears a mixture of frustration, anger, and sadness bunched into one. He roared, wanting to be heard but it didn’t feel like he wanted to be heard enough.

“I still want to play!” He desperately cried out. “I STILL WANT TO PLAY!”

He screamed and screamed until his voice gave out and he was unable to do so anymore. He was in the midst of losing his future.

* * *

Oikawa hadn’t been able to walk on his own. He succumbed into the overwhelming void of ‘I am never playing volleyball again’ because his knees just couldn’t be trusted anymore. Refusing physical therapy, he must have been so immature. Now it felt like it was much too late to get back into peak condition and he wasn’t sure he had the drive anymore.

He never knew the day he’d stop trying would come. The day he’d stop going outside for a brief stroll, just to feel the breeze and the overall feeling of being outside.

Now, cooped up in his room, his knees beyond in pain. He cried most days, other days he stared blankly at the ceiling. Numb. He felt hopeless and afraid. Afraid that he was left behind by his peers and his teammates, afraid he’d see his junior’s name in the newspaper one day instead of his own. He winced at the thought.

He hated Tobio. He hated him with every fiber in his being and he wanted to hit him. He didn’t care.

He hated him, he hated him, he hated him! He hated him.

* * *

Half asleep, Oikawa grabbed his phone after he felt the vibration against his stomach. This was probably from another girl wishing him all the best, so he was looking forward to sending a quick thank you and going back to sleep.

But, it wasn’t from a girl. Sure, he had tons of unread messages from girls but at the very top read ‘Iwaizumi Hajime.’

 _Oikawa Tooru:_  
Iwa Chan, how did you get my number?

 _Iwaizumi Hajime:_  
Dumbass when did I say you could call me that? I’m just checking to see if you’re alright since your parents practically cried because you haven’t contacted them in so long. They gave me your number

 _Oikawa Tooru:_  
Ughh Im fine idk why everyones so worried about me

 _Iwaizumi Hajime:_  
Are you really fine

Oikawa wanted to type yes. It was much easier to lie when you weren’t face to face, but he hovered over the keyboard for a while.

 _Iwaizumi Hajime:_  
Oikawa?

Tears were falling into his screen, so much that he could not type correctly.

 _Oikawa Tooru:_  
no

After the text, he gave his address to the male. He lay in his bed, his eyes drifting side to side at the ceiling hoping to find something interesting. But there was only ceiling, ceiling, ceiling.

He longed for the moment Iwaizumi would come through the door and ask what’s wrong. He wanted the affection from him, from somebody. He gasped, choking back sobs as he closed his eyes because the tears stung. More than ever, he wanted somebody with him, to help him feel normal and as if his whole world wasn’t collapsing all around him.

The front door swung open and he heard his name. “Oikawa!” He couldn’t speak clearly, but he was sure his sobs would lead the way for Iwaizumi.

“Oh, Oikawa..” The raven haired male had no idea he’d be like this. Immobile on his bed, trapped in the dark, face wet of tears and snot. Oikawa could only cry more upon being discovered by the other.

He took a tissue out of his pocket, thinking he’d need one for this visit but hell, Oikawa needed the whole box for all the tears and snot he was producing. He took a seat on the side of the bed, grabbing onto the brunet’s bicep and pulling him up. He stayed silent, even if he asked questions all he would receive were sobs and sniffles.

Iwaizumi cupped his jaw, bringing the tissue to the brim of his eyes and caught the tears that fell. The tissue soaked through quickly, and Oikawa was still crying. “Hey, you don’t need to cry. It’s only me, Iwa Chan.” He would never admit it, but he found the nickname cute. “Can you tell me what’s been going on?”

The sobbing male brought his hands up to wipe away the tears, but more continued to fall so it was no use. “I-I-I-I,” he said between hard sobs, “ca-can’t waaaalk..” Voicing what was wrong only made it worse. “M-m-m-my kneeeees..! Waaahhhhh!”

“I told you to rest.” Iwaizumi’s tone turned stern, but he was concerned. Could he really not walk or was this an exaggeration? This was worse than he thought.

Oikawa could barely see through his tears, his vision of Iwaizumi was only a beautiful liquidy dark cloud. He tried to scoot closer to the man he’s nicknamed Iwa Chan, needing comfort, needing some sort of encouragement. He wrapped his arms around the other, gripping the back of his shirt tightly.

Iwaizumi gladly leaned into him, rubbing his back in soothing circles.

* * *

A year has passed. Oikawa’s been regularly texting Iwaizumi and he’s finally gone to physical therapy with the help of his parents and Iwaizumi. His volleyball career was far from over, and he was going to work hard toward that goal. That included therapy. Lots and lots of therapy. After resting for quite a while and taking his daily pain medicine, the pain in his knees lessened and he could walk again, though he still had a limp.

It was Autumn. The leaves were turning a beautiful orange color and it was chilly. He wrapped himself up in a light blue woolen scarf before meeting Iwaizumi at the park fountain. It was evening and the sun was setting. It was absolutely gorgeous.

Waiting for Iwaizumi was nerve-racking. His crush on the guy developed shortly after being discovered in his room, a crying mess. But that didn’t matter. Nothing mattered anymore except today. The day he would confess.

It looked like it would snow, which only added to the romance cliché of it all. Exhaling, his breath could be seen in the cold weather, and his lips chapped. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, focusing on breathing in and out.

“Hey, Oikawa.” Iwaizumi jogged up to him with a wave.

“Iwa Chan!” The brunet perked up, eyes sparkling and a a beautiful blush spread across his face. And he smiled. A genuine smile, one he hasn’t smiled in such a long time. “I’ve got a lot I want to tell you but it’s okay if you think it’s weird or something!”

Iwaizumi’s smile faded, instead becoming confused. “Uhh, okay..” His eyes darted to the side, his own face becoming red but he hoped the weather was somehow at fault.

“I’ve liked you.. Almost for a year.” His fingers hidden in his pockets were fiddling with each other, a nervous habit. Oikawa’s smile faltered as he looked down at the ground that had a layer of orange leaves and newly covered snow. “I held off on saying anything because I was focusing on myself, but I’m happy with where I am and where I’m going to be. My dream is to play volleyball but I don’t know if I’ll ever have that chance so for now.. my dream is to be with you forever.”

Iwaizumi bit his lip, trying to overcome his nervousness in order to tell this dumbass he liked him too. But nothing came out. Damn you, Crappykawa. He took his words away with just his presence, something so simple. There was no way he was going to say it, instead, he grabbed the sides of Oikawa’s face and pressed his lips onto his with slight force but with enough meaning.

The two enjoyed the feeling of kissing in the snow and although volleyball would have to wait, he had Iwaizumi by his side forever.

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first ever fanfic i’ve ever posted!! i usually keep my writing to myself and close friends but idk i felt some confidence in this since i was inspired and based it off of the song ‘king’ by lauren aquilina. i hope you enjoyed at least a little bit


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